Archive for September, 2009

The Difference Between Men and Women

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009


A friend sent me one of those emails the other day which explained why men never got depressed. It was funny and rather true and I passed it on to a few people I suspected would appreciate it.

Differences between men and women always interest me, and I think people who say there aren’t any — besides the biological, of course — are, um, mistaken.

Later the same day I got further corroborating evidence in case anyone wants to dispute it.

My kids and I have a “dropbox” folder into which we put pictures, articles, etc. that we believe the others will want to share. (If you don’t use dropbox and you want a useful online way of sharing large files and syncing material over several computers — Michelle, are you listening? — this could be your answer.)

Anyway, into my “family photos and stuff” dropbox the other night twenty-six pictures fell.

No indication who posted them at first.

Then, due to the identity of the grandkids in the photos — Ellie and Hank — it became clear which family they were from.

It also became clear who sent them — my son or my daughter-in-law.

There were five pictures of the kids — four of Ellie looking as if she were hunting for a rock to throw at her cousin, and one of Hank looking like, well . . . Hank — and twenty-one pictures of every conceivable angle that it is possible to photograph a beat-up, needing-desperately-t0-be-restored Ford truck and camper, including four taken from underneath it.

Any questions?

Bad to the Bone

Saturday, September 12th, 2009


Sometimes you see a perfect gift when you’re not even looking for one.

And you have to get it because it’s sooo absolutely right, because the recipient will know it’s right exactly just as you did when you saw it. And even though it’s not his birthday or Christmas or any other holiday that might occasion it, you have to get it.

So you do. And you send it to England.

You send it Air Mail to England because the USPS does not believe in sea mail anymore. And sending it air mail means that it costs 6 times as much to send it as the gift itself.

But it’s perfect. So that makes it all right.

It just so happens that the gift is for a cat.

Not just any cat, though. Sid.

Sir Sidney, ACOSB — A Cat Of Superior Breeding — who lives with Kate Walker and keeps things running on the far side of the pond.

Sid and I go back a long way. He was scarcely more than a teenager when I first met him — not quite a full-fledged feline romantic hero. But he definitely had Potential.

He grew into his potential — and then some. He became a charmer. An alpha cat. With just a hint of bad boy in him. So that when I saw the dish with its motto — Bad to the Bone — I knew it had to be Sid’s.

Not just because of the motto, but because Sid believes in food. He relishes it. Adores it. Delights in it. Consumes it. A cat who feels that strongly about his nutrition should have a bowl that speaks both to his passion and his nature.

Hence, the perfect gift.

He has written me two thank you notes so far. He’s had his picture taken with it eight times. He has chased Flora the Floozie away from it — allowing her a few Greenies (sent along to Sid and his housemates Flora and Dyl the Vil because all cats love Greenies.) but not allowing her the use of his bowl.

So, Sid, I’m delighted you are enjoying your new china — and the Greenies that came with it. I hope you enjoy it for many years to come.

ps: this is the sort of thing writers do when plots are eluding them.

Happy Birthday Dear Daughter!

Wednesday, September 9th, 2009

It’s my daughter’s birthday today.

She’s reached a milestone which makes me feel old. But it’s okay because it probably makes her feel old, too, and so we can be old together.

She is my only daughter and my oldest child, and believe me when I say she set the bar very high for all those boys that followed.

If I’d only ever had one kid, I wouldn’t have understood what all those other parents were saying when they’d wring their hands and moan about what their children were up to now.

Mine, of course, was perfect. Well, she was. Pretty much. Still is.

Of course when we sent her off to school, her teachers thought otherwise. They agreed she was smart, hard-working, determined, hard-working, smart, determined – oh, and going to do things her own way.

They also said, “Why doesn’t she turn her work in on time?”

That’s the other thing she can be — about things that matter — a bit of a perfectionist. When the teacher said, “Draw Bill and Jill at the duck pond,” the other kids, my boys included, would draw two stick figures, a circle and some vague rendition of a bird. . . and move on.

Not my daughter.

Everyone else was finished and ready to go to lunch and she was still sitting at her desk, totally focused — drawing argyle socks on Jill.

She hadn’t even decided what kind of duck was going to be at the pond yet. That would mean getting out the bird identification book, reading about the migratory patterns of ducks, figuring out where the pond was and the time of year the ducks were migrating and which ones were likely to be at the particular latitude and longitude at that particular time of year.

And no, it didn’t matter that she was in first grade when she did this.

It was pretty typical.

She was a joiner and a volunteer, and she rode horses every Saturday at a friend’s farm about 10 miles from here. Luckily for me, she got a ride to the horses. But ferrying her to and from all the things she had joined or volunteered for kept me busier than all of her brothers combined.

It’s fun to watch now as she’s still doing the same thing, but she has to get herself — and her own daughter — wherever they’re volunteering or joining now.

She was a Girl Scout and could sell you cookies mute and with her eyes closed. She could have sold you the Mississippi River and all its bridges just by smiling at you. It turns out her daughter can do the same thing — 100 times over.

Now she’s a Girl Scout troop leader and, trust me, the Girl Scouts in her troop are the luckiest kids in Texas. They’re going camping this weekend. Lucky kids.

I don’t get to see her nearly as often as I’d like as there’s about 1000 miles between us. The one blessing of her daughter getting mono last fall was that I got to go be with them for three weeks while granddaughter recovered.

So I’m grateful every day for inexpensive phone rates, for memories that always make me smile, for Mom camp every summer which I wouldn’t miss for the world because she and I have sooo much fun (her daughter loves summer sports camp, but she asked last summer if she could come to Mom Camp too when she got ‘old enough.’).

Mostly I’m grateful she’s my daughter.

Happy birthday, kid. I love you!